Whatever Became of Uncle Bob?

Chapter One: Uncle Bob's Last Picture  

Crevice The Cat

We weren't sure if that really was Uncle Bob laying all sprawled out all over the place. I mean, Uncle Bob was the casual sort, and he did tend to get mighty comfortable once he relaxed.

Still it just wasn't like him to be so careless and leave his left leg bone here, his right arm bone away over there, and the rest of himself all scattered round higgledy squiggledy.

Still, the sheriff identified him as Uncle Bob so we guessed it was. Besides, there was Uncle Bob's digital camera laying twenty seven feet and eight and three quarters inches away from the car, and the car was definitely Uncle Bob's car.

Uncle Bob's car was easy to recognize because the license plates said UNC BOB. That's the ones we got him for his birthday only three years and eighteen days earlier. He was so proud and happy to get them.

My cousin Little Bob went over and picked up the digital camera and held it next to his heart. You could tell he was a thinking about his long lost Daddy.

The rest of us was looking at those bones scattered around.

Us kids thought those bones were mighty peculiar looking for bones. They sort of looked like plastic ones like they sell at the Halloween Store over on Grimsby Street. I picked up the skull and and was getting ready to give it a good thump to see if it sounded like plastic, but Sheriff Wentworth saw what I was going to do and he got all red faced and mad, then he started yelling some real bad words, so that scared us kids and we ran away.

We ran up and down a few hills, and the sheriff chased us for a bit, but he was so fat from all them doughnuts he eats at Aunt Ethel's Doughnut Shop that he got tuckered out real quick like.

We runned a bit more, then we all stopped to hide at the log. That's a big oak tree that is a laying across the stream way behind the store. I looked over at Cousin Little Bob to see how he was doing, and I saw he was still a hanging on to his Daddy's digital camera. Looking down, I saw in my hands Uncle Bob's skull!

Well, I just stared at it, now knowing what to do with it. Something caught my attention, and I asked Cousin Little Bob if his Daddy had a tattoo on the top of his head. This was sort of a strange tattoo to have on top of a head, it said Made in China.

Well, my cousin he said no way would his Daddy have a tattoo like that on top of his head. So we got all cheered up cause we know this wasn't Uncle Bob's skull at all. Hoorah!

Cousin Little Bob started to play with his Daddy's digital camera. He flicked the power switch to the On position then he moved the mode button to Review Images. He smiled at a picture, so we asked him what he was a smiling at. Little Bob said it was a picture of his long last cat named Crevice, missing about three years now.

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Chapter Two: Uncle Bob's Next to Last Picture
 

Mangolia

Cousin Little Bob continued his review of all the digital images on his Daddy's camera. Deep in thought and reminiscing about his poor lost Daddy and Crevice the Cat, the guy had some tears trickling down his face.

He stared at one picture for the longest time, deep in thought. Suddenly his eyes just sparkled and the biggest grin shot right across his face. I ain't poetic, but it was like the darkest night brightened by a friendly lightening bolt that chased away all gloom.

Little Bob started mumbling something over and over again. Well, we just couldn't figure out what he was saying, but he kept saying it louder and louder till all of a sudden we realized he was saying "Mangolia".

We didn't get it at first, but he calmed down a bit and said his Daddy was in Mangolia, cause that's where that picture of the big old jar like thing was taken. He'd seen it in some adventure magazine his Daddy had that told all about Mango Matt.

Noise Producing Machine

It sings, talks, and produces music!

Radio Thing

Makes Human Sounds

Just Another Bipods's research department was recently on a fact finding tour at Food 4 Less. Noticing this eye catching item displayed near the ketchup, we were immediately fascinated by it. It was packaged and labeled as a radio, whatever that was, we did not know.

The cost of this radio item was $9.99. Reading the information on the package, it was discovered it needed a 9 volt battery also. One of these 9 volt batteries was available for $2.29. The research department was allowed $15.00 for a new project so this radio thing was within our guidelines.

Rushing back to Just Another Bipods's research department, we eagerly opened the package containing this radio thing. The radio had a slick surface, and the staff passed it from hand to hand as we marveled at its smoothness and beauty.

Discovered within the box was also a small piece of paper with directions for inserting the battery, though there were no directions for the actual use of this radio.

After the battery was correctly installed, the staff studied this radio in an attempt to discover how it worked. Another puzzling thought was, "What does this radio thing actually do?"

After several hours of discussion and attempting to push or rotate parts of this radio a remarkable discovery was made. The silver knob on the right front of the radio was discovered to turn! Turning this knob caused the thin vertical piece of plastic near the numbers to move.

In a sudden burst of inspiration, an attempt to rotate the left knob was attempted, but there was some resistance. Not wishing to cause any harm to the radio we temporarily abandoned anything to do with the left knob.

It was approaching 3 a.m., and no progress had yet been made towards the actual activating of this radio's power supply. Further reading of the directions that accompanied this product revealed that it was made in China, and gave the actual phone number of the company that made this radio.

Although a phone call to China would not be in the best financial interest of Just Another Bipod, the decision was made to contact the manufacturer.

With feelings of anticipation the staff listened in as I made the call on my Visti XL23 Speaker Phone. The phone rang twice, and was picked up by someone that talked real funny. I have no idea what he was saying, but I explained our problem. In response I got more of these strange words. I restated our problem, but this time I talked much slower and much louder so he could understand me better.

No luck. Then another voice came on the line, and said "May I help you?"

I explained how we were unable to get their radio device to activate.

A pause as the other individual considered what I had said. Then came the revealing answer, "Turn left knob harder. Goodbye." Then they hung up their phone quite loudly.

I turned that left knob, and putting a bit of strength into it I bypassed the resistance point. Suddenly strange scratchy noises came out of the front of the radio thing! We listened to this for about 45 minutes trying to figure out the purpose behind such an invention.

One of my co-researchers had a thought, and asked, "What would happen if we turned the right knob?"

We discussed the pros and cons of this for awhile, then decided to go ahead and turn the right knob. Voices came out of the radio! Turning the knob more, and music was being produced. Looks like we are onto something pretty neat here!

The entire staff of Just Another Bipod was called in to witness and listen to this wonderful radio thing. Though it was 5 a.m. on a Sunday morning when we notified everyone, they all eagerly showed up at Just Another Bipod. Some brought doughnuts and others didn't. We had a wonderful time and spent all day Sunday in pure enjoyment of the radio.

We have become quite expert at the use of radio. Just Another Bipod is now the proud owner of two such radio things.

Another Radio Thing

This picture shows our newest one.

Internet research on the radio gives us the following information. Nikola Tesla was the actual inventor of the radio in 1893. Two years later Guglielmo Marconi produced a much similiar device in London, and claimed it as his own invention.

Using one of those internet e-mail address locator things, we were able to discover e-mail addresses for several Nikola Tesla and Guglielmo Marconi. E-mails to all of them regarding their invention of the radio has so far produced no results.